and I go home, where every decision for the day becomes questioned and I begin to second guess myself. i’ve been taught, that my decisions are never correct, so I’ve gotten to the point where I console everyone until my decision has been made for me so I don’t have to. and from this consultation, stipulations the reason why that I no longer trust my opinion and crave approval so desperately.
cause when I’m out of these four walls yet still within my mental four walls, my mind is somewhat clear and concise. i perfectly understand my decisions, but from the outside looking in, it looks as if i’m a silly little girl. and it’s true, I’m a fickle silly little girl. I know lol.
but it’s just a little frustrating to try to stand on a decision when all the voices plucking against the house. Almost like a house of cards. I attempt to find a solution to stack those cards up and make them work, hoping that they’ll stand, only to find that the slightest touch of wind blows the house to the ground. repeat.